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Time passes by so slowly

I place a watch on my wrist.
I can here it tic.
Just like the clock on my wall.
That digital one is so tall.
For all to see.
except for me.
I remove the watch from my wrist.
no more listening to this.
I can not undo time.
It passes by so slowly.

On the side of that building.
I can see it moving.
It has a linear line.
but not in my mind.
There I can stop it.
Watch it.
as it goes back to where I pic.
It starts to tic.
One second at a time.

In the passage of time.
There is no rhyme.
No reason to be.
Just a beginning
no end in site
my time, my plight
Too far for me to reach.
Where I have been I see.
This is what I think it to be.
As time passes me by so slowly.


The dealer

I go to you for my needs and you provide.

You give me a sense of confidence with which I can drive.

I return for my maintenance not to get clean.

More often than not you do less than it seems.

I trusted you fully with all of my cash.

You took my money and sent me away with your trash.

Now I have to return to you again.

To fix your product that broke in my hand.

From my hand you will take my money just the same.

And send me off knowing this will not change.

It has happened. I no longer have heart. It started to disappear after it broke apart. I felt as small as the pieces of my heart. Gone into the wind. I live because my heart beats. That one is still there. My other heart. The one I love with. The one I learn compassion through, that heart is dead and gone.

Extensions cord.

What a useful little tool you are.

making your way into the lives of many.

extending the way they use this tool.

on me it was painful and brutal.

I was taking a shower that one afternoon.

when suddenly the water became frigidly cold.

Instantly I sprung to the back of the tub.

As a whip you were that day.

You get things to reach, when far.

What a useful little tool you are.

Look at me.

I stand about five feet eleven inches tall. Dark copper tone almost reddish tanned skin. My hair is long, curly, and below my shoulders. My hair has turned its usual two toned, deluxe color code of the salt and pepper shade. Thanks to the getting old, age of things, I must say. I have broad shoulders on a very thin frame. I am athletic and it only shows when I expose my athleticism. For the most part I am slender with a fading six pack. My legs have always been on the skinny side. Unlike my forearms, that seems to have been adapted from a cartoon.

My dark skin in the summer is so far from the shades I go through before and after, the burning sun. Charcoal at times. In my youth. I rarely visit the hot burning sun in nothing but shorts for the entire course of the day. Those good ole Speed-o days. Yes even I had the itsy bitsy undies, for a swim suit, good ole days. Swimming in the water. Rolling in with the waves. Body surfing. Still trying to be a kid.

I stand tall, head held high, fully upright. I don’t move much. It’s a bad habit. Moving around that is. I did plenty of that in my youth. I did a lot of things in my youth. Things even the youth in me shouldn’t have. I was even doing adult things in my youth. Talk about growing up. Too soon at that. Still today I am trying to get a life. It shows in the attire I cover up this scrawny body with. Jeans and tee shirts. Slacks and Polos. Nothing to look at here, seriously. Look at me.

That Sword

You are such a clean steel instrument.
Silent and true.
Wrapped with cloth tight and firm
A wooden handle at the hilt.

Nothing blunt in your appearance.
Slender as you are in style.
A creation like no other.
You will not be still.

You are my sword.
I'll live by your code.
It has become my oath.

You are majestic.
Valiant my virtue.
your strength confides in us both.

You are my sword,
hammered steel so beautiful
Honor and truth will be my life.
Perseverance I'll get from you.


Capitalize This.

Time to do away with hate and fame.

It’s not like we’re exactly, the same.

Do I want the world to know my name?

Would I rather waive or pay?

It’s what’s going on today.

Resources are free and even if I paid,

why is the profit so great?

The more I want, the more I have.

It seems that greed has taken a path.

It’s time to hesitate, slow the pace,

get what I need, and greed should dissipate.

This I pray.

If everyone did things this way.

There will always be something to save.

I’ll save the Earth, I’ll save the trees,

I’ll do this all while smoking weed.

I’ll save the money that I make

by not overpaying for a slice of cake.

I make less for my pocket.

It’s all for your profit.

So just stop it.

Bloggers bogers.

I will make this short and sweet. There is no reason to blog about what other people do and why. Everyone has their own motivation and mental crisis. Tell me why you do it better than 18 others. Tell me why 20 of your stories are better. You can’t imagine why I am motivated or depressed. Nor can you begin to fathom where I am going in life.

A true blogger Rafael Gonzalez. My blog is all about me to you, even if you are not here. Go figure.

Castles in the sand.

Days at the beaches.

I’ve spent many of days, nights, weekends, at the beach. Some of the best times I have had, were at the beach. I’ve been to beaches in Cali. FL. NY. Mex, Centr Amer, and PR. I have met an amazing amount of people during my short stay-cays at the beach. Stay-Cays, I use it because every time, I am at the beach, I tend to forget about everything. Until I engage in conversation. Which was always started because of my sandcastles.

There were times that just kids would be around me, watching with amazed beady eyes, waiting for me to finish, so they can stomp on and about my pile of decorated sand. No, seriously. I was a bit perturbed when it first happened, but it’s not like I am actually going to grab those kids by the ankles and toss them in the water. As much as I really wanted to. Nope I just said oh well I’ll make another. They are just kids being kids.

I have made a few other carvings in the sand and a few statues also. I met a certain family from England once at the beach in Surfside, Fl. Those kids were the bomb. Their accents alone topped with their tone of voices was just the most adorable I had heard. Their pleas of carving a Dolphin, A turtle, A shark, A gator, and a Horse. Were done, of all, the horse was the only one lying down on it’s side. I just couldn’t get it to stand. lol.

An early morning day at the beach.

The ocean so grand in front of me.

I stare out to sea to feel my muse

I clear my mind for creative views.

I look around the Ocean’s shore,

Searching through the sandy floor.

A quest for tools that I can take,

For the Sandcastle I can make.

An ice cream stick, a straw, a spoon.

I’ll make my creation very soon. .

I’ll make this Sandcastle for all to see.

Then walk away like it wasn’t me.

Those kids were just ecstatic with all the sand-carvings they requested made. Their happy little faces kept me smiling for a few days there after. I have met such a large eclectic group of people at the beaches of many. Dates, newly found friends, and yes even competition, when there wasn’t a competition to begin with. Nor was it competition quite a few times. Even if the Judges were drunk. lol

But really! No story comes to mind more during my times at the beach, than the one that got me kicked off the beach, that Saturday afternoon.

It was hot. As it always is in, south fl. My sisters, my bro-in-law, and nieces and nephews, spend this one of many days enjoying the beach. I am swimming about and plunging underwater, searching for those nice little cold spots I tend to find as I hold my breath and swim along the ocean floor. During a moment of coming up for air, I noticed a Coast Guard heli flying low, and near by. I reach the surface of the water and maintain my position. I am pretty far out and I see a diver jump out of the heli, not too far from me.

At that moment I turn around and face the shore to see who else is close or seeing this. As I do I notice the lifeguard has been trying or is trying to get my attention. Then the heli gives me notice to exit the water by way of its loudspeaker. I then look over to where the diver jumped in the water and to my astonished surprise a very large Stingray passes a few feet in front of me. Excited as I am, I dive in and try to swim up to the Stingray. I got the feeling the CG didn’t like that much because the heli came down closer.

As I was swimming under water I could see three fairly large stingray swimming in a group. This must be what all the fuss is about. I look up to the heli and try to yell it’s only Stingrays. They point to the shore as if to tell me to look that way. Sure enough it looks like the life guards are getting ready to come get me, so I swim back to shore. The LGs were not very happy and at first they seemed to be ready to yell but I guess they see me walking out of the water and just tell me to vacate the beach for I am banned for the day…

I know you are there.

Chino 61 02/15/2019

Watch over me dear Mother of mine.
And to my Dad also in Heaven by her side. 
Watch over me biological Father of mine.
I too hope you’re Standing, to their side. 
Watch over me dear little Sister of mine.
And to my cousins who are in Heaven too.
Watch over me Aunts and Uncles of mine.
Watch over me please as I believe you do.

And to my best friend, that is not here.
I know You’re in Heaven Watching me from there.
My Grandparents are also in Heaven too.
Along with Guys and Girls, I once knew.

Another Birthday is coming close.
Five decades and three years to boast.
Friends and Family will come and go.
New Kin born. New people to know.
Watch over me as I move along.
I know you are there and it keeps me strong. 
Watch over me now Family and Friends of mine.
I will one day watch with you in my coming time.